'Someone has died…I can’t come to my interview'

In January 2021, Aongola lost two close family members in quick succession. His aunt, and her mother, who he calls ‘very important and impactful women’, were family matriarchs, and brought ‘joy, safety and love’. 

Living in the UK, and experiencing death in the family from afar – his auntie and ‘grandmother’ lived in Zambia – made Aongola’s grief a ‘really difficult and complicated emotion and experience’.

Below: Aongola pictured for #IRemember 2022 by Rankin.

There is never a ‘good’ time to hear that someone close to you has died. For Aongola, it was as he was on his way to an important job interview that he learned of his family member’s death.

None of us really know how we would react in that situation – amplified, perhaps, by the stress and anxiety of an impending job interview. It would be natural to feel worried that by cancelling it, we might be missing out on what could be a life-changing moment.

According to Aongola, his interviewers at Monzo were ‘very accommodating’ to his situation. Their compassion – to someone who hadn’t even been interviewed yet – had an astounding impact: fully supportive of his situation, they gave him the opportunity to take part in the interview at a later date, when he was ready.  

The team at Monzo showed that by the simple act of supporting Aongola in a productive and healthy way, when he needed it most, employers (and those who aren’t quite yet someone’s employer) can play a huge and long lasting role in a someone’s life.

Having allowed him to complete the interview when he was ready, in Aongola, Monzo gained a committed, compassionate employee, who – rather serendipitously – is now their Bereavements Lead.

Aongola’s experience at Monzo is a shining example of when things go right. But in others’ experiences, it’s not so positive. Stigma around grieving, and a lack of understanding about what it means to be ill and what happens when you’re dying, mean that too many of us are struggling to cope when faced with life’s inevitable challenges. The workplace is no exception. 

57% of employees will have experienced a bereavement in the last five years. Every day, more than 600 people quit their jobs to look after older and disabled relatives.

Surprisingly, fewer than one in five managers feel very confident supporting someone they manage with a bereavement.

Could your workplace benefit?

Could you and your colleagues benefit from dedicated wellbeing support for staff and employers? Then we can help. 

Get in touch with our wellbeing support programme to see how your organisation can be well set up to look after employees through grief, illness and caring.

We’ve shared Aongola’s story as part of Dying Matters Awareness Week 2023, which focused on Dying Matters at work.

We spend so much of our lives at work – and we shouldn’t have to hide our experiences of death and dying from our colleagues, our peers, or our bosses. 

With your help, we can create open and compassionate society where we are comfortable facing the realities of dying, death and grief. 

Thank you to Aongola for sharing his story.